Day Thirty-One: Lessons Learned

Raw Chocolate.  What an incredible teacher!!!  I mean, like WOW!  People talk about pot or mushrooms being teacher plants, but no one ever really seems to call chocolate that (not that I’ve heard, anyway).  I think they should.  Raw live cacao taught me so much and opened my eyes in ways I never even imagined were possible.

So now that my 30 days are up, I’m so TOTALLY staying raw, as I indicated in earlier posts, because even though the detox is hard sometimes, I’m getting so much done.  For example, I’ve NEVER kept a journal or blogged about anything for 31 consecutive days.  I’ve never had the staying power or attention span before.  And I know that I can’t go back to feeling the way I did before.  I just can’t tolerate the concept of it again.  Even on Day 30, when I was so upset, there was a heavy feeling in my stomach that I noticed was not there.  I never noticed its presence until it was gone.  And I felt like even though I was experiencing much more consuming sadness on one level, I could totally see myself coming out of it more easily because of all the raw food I’ve been eating.  And that really helped me to stay raw and not want to stuff the emotions down with my old favorite, Mexican food.

I figured out why I was so upset on Day 30, BTW.  I needed green.  Not greens, not to eat, I needed GREEN!  I needed to spend time among living, breathing, green plants!  I went to my local Co-Op today, and when I saw the little Herbarium with the baby kale, tomato seedlings, jalapeño kiddos … I almost started crying!  I felt like maybe in a past life I had eaten their ancestors or something.  I know.  I sound like a comPLETEly crazy hippie!  I’m totally aware of how weird I sound.  But that’s what it felt like.  Oh, and there’s more.  I felt like they were welcoming me home, like they were trying to say, “Oh, it’s so good to see you again!  We’re so glad you can hear us and see us again.  We’ve been waiting patiently for you to return.”  Again, hippie-dippie sounding, but it was one of the most profoundly happy moments of my life.  Like finding a long-lost friend.  It was actually up there with my nephew being born or making love with Jason for the first time.

There is something about eating live foods that makes you so much more appreciative and in touch with living things, and you feel this love for things around you that you just can’t feel any other way.  It’s pure ecstasy.

Sighhhhhhhhhh ….

So what did I learn?  Well, for starters, I learned that:

• I really CAN break an addiction, and that anyone who says that cooked food isn’t addicting should try giving it up for 30 days
  
• I’m MUCH stronger than I ever gave myself credit for
• I can sit at a table with the sights and smells of my old eating patterns and still be happy and satisfied
  
• a lot of my problems with Jahn were not with Jahn, they were with how I was chemically messed up because of my diet
• I have more capacity to be Love than I knew was even humanly possible
• I actually ENJOY gardening!!!  (No you don’t understand, I used to HATE it!!!)
• superfoods really are the best way for me to remineralize, stay full, and are my key to success
• organic food actually, physically, really-and-truly DOES taste better
• I can tell when something isn’t organic, because I can taste the chemicals and sense lack of nutrients
• I will have to lose a few friendships due to my new lifestyle, but I can still be grateful for what they offered me when I had them, and look forward to deeper, more meaningful relationships in the future with people who understand about raw food
• it isn’t just that my path in life is to help others find their path in life;  I’m supposed to help people go raw (that want to and ask for my help) so that THEY can figure out that path for themselves when they get the clarity raw food offers!  (Geez, could I have BEEN more self-centered and egotistical to think that I was the one with the answers to other people’s issues???)
• better than 85% of all disagreements and arguments I’ve had with people were based on what both of us were eating, not on the thing we were arguing about — when 2 people are cooked, how can they really get to who they really are?  In my opinion, they can’t.  And if you can’t even get to your true self, how can you expect to show it to and share it with others?  Or how can they do the same for you with their true selves?
• I had NO idea how great sex could be.  Holy COW!  If you think sex is fun eating cooked food, go raw for a month.  JEEBUS!!!!!
• dreams had while sleeping are meant to all be intense, vivid and in living color
• I DO NOT HAVE TO BE IN CONSTANT PHYSICAL PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• my patience and my fuse are MUCH longer than I ever thought they could be
• bad things happened to me when I was little, but I can process them and move forward;  they don’t get to rule my life anymore
• power, vitality, strength, vigor, prosperity and excellent health are all mine for the taking — I just have to be willing to ask for them and know, truly KNOW that they are my birthright.
• I don’t have to give up my family in order to give up cooked food
• I don’t think I could ever have a partner who was cooked again (but fortunately, Jay and I are life partners)
• I don’t have to stink or use deodorant ever again
• getting a sunburn is not an inescapable thing just because I’ve spent 5 minutes in the sun
• my thyroid can heal itself, and the doctors that told me that I’d never get off the meds and have a healthy, properly functioning thyroid were W-R-O-N-G, WRONG!!!
• I will never have to have a “disposable” body part removed ever again because of something I ate, while I’m told that I suddenly got sick for unknown reasons (I now know that I made myself sick, one spoonful at a time).
• there really IS such a thing as a natural high!
• the Universe (Omniverse) truly is conspiring to make me succeed in everything I desire
• you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose (aka, you can’t stick your fingers into someone else’s business and force them to eat raw food with you, no matter how much you love them).
  
• Love should always be given the respect of being written with a capital “L”
• my level of Love and gratitude for Jason will continue to grow with every passing day
• if I ever go bankrupt and lose everything, it won’t be because of food choices I made that forced me to turn everything I own over to the medical establishment.
• every step of this journey has been worth it, and even though it won’t always be easy, it will always be more pleasurable and preferable to sitting on another cold, white doctor’s table, or God forbid, lying on another operating table.
• YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!!!
  

Day Thirty: Ha! Forgot to Mention the Menu!

Oops!  Ok, so I got so involved with all the emotional stuff, I forgot to tell you what I ate yesterday.  DUH!

Breakfast:
Water, an avocado, a mango, some strawberries and a bit of chocolate candy

Lunch:
German chocolate cake

Dinner:
A pear half and some chocolate ganache.

BTW, Jay was just BEYOND nice to me while I went through all that crud yesterday.  Just held me when I cried, backed off when I screamed, and generally let me be a stark-raving-mad lunatic while holding a loving and sacred space for me to come home to when I was done being wacked out.  Isn’t he just the most wonderful man?  God, I love him!!!  He kept telling me that michael ryce (who prefers to have his name written without capitals) says that when you are going through detox, feel at your lowest, like you absolutely are at rock-bottom, the world is coming to an end and you just can’t take another second … that is when you stand in your greatest moment of power.  I rolled my eyes and just wanted to yell, “Yeah RIGHT!” when he told me that, but I think I get it now.  If you can push through that moment (or day or whatever) and come out the other side without turning to cooked food to stuff it down, you really see how strong and capable you are.  Giving up cooked food is definitely the hardest thing I have ever done.  But I am so glad I did it!  And grateful beyond words that I had Jason there to hold my hand, wipe away my tears, and even offer to let me kick his ass if I thought it would help.  What a doll!  (Like I could kick his ass.  The man can lift 400 pounds without breaking a sweat — literally!  And I’d never want to hit him.  But it was nice of him to offer himself up as a punching bag.)

So anyhow, on to the lessons I learned.

Day Thirty: I DID IT! (And Boy Was I Pissy!)

Ok, so if you thought I was mad on Mustard Day, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!  I was so mad on my 30th day that I literally didn’t go to work, I laid in bed crying for hours on end (when I wasn’t rushing to the bathroom to have yet ANOTHER bowel movement), the sound of voices made me want to scream with anger, I wanted to hit everyone who came within 20 feet of me, and I felt like I was losing my flippin’ marbles.  I didn’t even put this post up that day because I was so angry that I feared I would type things I would regret.  Plus I TOTALLY didn’t feel like posting!  For those of you who know me, this is NOT how I usually feel or operate.  I’m usually the one in the crowd who makes people laugh, tries to help everyone feel included and does everything possible to create a happy and comfortable environment around myself.

Yeahhhhhhh … this was not my normal M.O. on day 30.

Ah, detox.  It’s a beautiful thing!  NOT!!!

See, I’m so looking forward to being DONE with detox, but not so much the actual detoxification process.  I’m VERY excited because I’ll be starting a 2-week green juice fast as soon as I order some liquid zeolite and a greens juicer, but I’ve still got some investigating to do.  Well, not for the zeolite, I already know which brand I’m gonna buy;  I’ve just got to wait on a tax refund before I can go forward and actually purchase the stuff.

It’s funny.  I’ve never really WANTED to do a juice fast, and I don’t know if it’s all the cacao I’ve eaten or if it’s just that I’ve been raw for 30 days now, it’s just … I can’t explain it.  Hmmmm ….  Ok, I think this is the perfect way to say it.

I’m sick of eating.

No seriously.  I really am.  I feel like tired of chewing and tired of carrying around all this excess weight, and tired of the way I feel and just UCHK!  Even though I feel so much lighter and happier than I did, now I feel REALLY in tune with where I am and what I need to do, and how much weight is still on me.  Does that make sense?  Oh!  I’ve got it.  Have you ever been carrying something around for awhile, and after a bit, you don’t notice that you’ve got it on you anymore.  But it does slowly wear on you.  Then, after you put it down, trying to pick it back up again suddenly seems like … like impossible!  That’s what I feel like.  Like I’m aware of the excess weight now, and I just can’t WAIT to be done with it!!!

Anyhow, that’s my little existential rant.  This journey has been just a BLAST and a half, and sharing this with all of you has been a real pleasure.  Look for GoRawNotCrazy.com in the next few months, and lots of free recipes, ideas, articles, videos and more about how to go and stay raw.  I don’t think I’ll ever eat this much chocolate in consecutive days ever again, but it sure was fun!  Look for tomorrow’s post about what I learned in these last 30 days.  Later!

Day Twenty-Nine: Almost There! (and a Weigh-In)

Well, I’ve gotta say that I’ve never gone this long on any kind of diet, and I’ve never felt less deprived.  This has not felt like a diet, actually.  It’s felt like an unshackelling and a freeing from prison!  This has truly been an amazing month!  Probably the best of my life!  You know how when you accomplish something so amazing, it had challenges, but it was SO worth it?  That’s what this has been like.  I just can’t explain it.  You have to try it for yourself to know what I mean.  I’m just not good enough with words to tell you.  I don’t know that words CAN tell you.  SO much has come up for clearing, I feel so much happier, lighter — oh yes, I’m down to 211.4 pounds — and just … God, I wish I could explain it in words!

But since I cannot, let’s just get to the meat of the day — well, figuratively.  LOL

I had chocolate chips for breakfast after my water, then had a small salad for lunch with nutritional yeast, golden flaxmeal, my favorite vinaigrette (olive oil, apple cider vinegar, agave and Herby) on baby greens with shredded carrots, chopped red and orange bell pepper, plus a few raw olives for good measure.  SSOOOOOOOOooooooo delicious!!!  Dinner was chocolate-covered pecans, raisins and hemp seeds.  Again, delicious!  Somewhere in there, I think late at night, I had a big glass of grapefruit juice and a few kiwis.  Just started craving them.  Oh!  Had an apricot, too.  Very fruity day.

My thirst has really come up to a much higher level, and I’m really ready for water in the morning now.  I drink a lot throughout the day, too.  When my 30 days are up tomorrow, it isn’t the end of a journey, just really the end of making sure I’m getting chocolate every meal.  I’ll still eat it, of course, but I’m absoLUTEly not going back to cooked food!  No way, no how, uh-UH!!!

Day Twenty-Eight: The Silent Journey Continues (Weigh-In Tomorrow)

First off, many of you may be looking for my weigh-in, as today is officially the end of Week Four!  I can hardly believe I’ve been successfully raw for this long!!!  But alas, there is no scale here, and I don’t feel like going all the way to the gym today just to weigh myself (it’s about 25 miles away).  So I’ll do that tomorrow.

Waking up today was identical to yesterday morning.  WONDERFUL!  I actually woke up at 6:44 a.m., but then took a nap around 10:30 for about an hour.  Then, at 2:30, I took another nap.  At 6:30 I woke up, and took myself to see Star Trek.  It was REALLY good!  I sneaked Gone Nuts (the Sun-Dried Marinara flavor) into the theater, along with a banana and a bottle of water for dinner/snacks.

I really did nothing today.  I mean, I took a 45 minute walk down by the marina, which was COLD, I saw a movie, I ate and I slept.  But I think I needed this time more to just screw around than to work.  And now I feel like I can face the world again.  I really wanted to do this last week and to be gone for 4 days, but I’m grateful that I got any time at all.

Breakfast was water (still can’t believe how much water fills you up when you’re raw), lunch was ganache, a nectarine, and marinara nuts with olives, and dinner was what I sneaked into the theatre.  Had more ganache when I got home.

I’m back to “normal” life tomorrow morning and will start speaking again.  And like I said, I’ll weigh myself and get you the results.  I’m sort of sad that all this is coming to a close, but so grateful that it’s helped me to go and STAY raw … FINALLY!!!

I’ll be posting a “What I Learned” sort of post on Day 31, and announcing my new blog for www.GoRawNotCrazy.com on that day, so stay tuned!

Day Twenty-Seven: The Silent Journey Begins

I’m at the little cabin/cottage now, got here late last night.  Cannot TELL you how nice it was to wake up to nothing but sunshine and birds.  No hubbub, no making sure somebody makes the school bus (although Jahn is doing a much better job of getting himself up and ready, now that he has an alarm clock and is raw), no wondering if it’s a work day, and if it isn’t, what am I supposed to be doing @ home.  Jeebus, it was nice!

I got into a bit of a crying fit last night, just before leaving home.  Had a real anxiety attack about Jason being upset with me for leaving — would he want me to come back?  Fortunately, he’s just the kind of wonderful man that I can cry in front of and he doesn’t fall apart or take it personally.  Also, he doesn’t mind if I have irrational fears and/or express them.  He just held me and told me that of course he would still be there and I’d be welcomed back with open arms.  It’s amazing how we American women are taught, somehow (because there sure isn’t a class or overt words to this affect) that we are responsible for everyone around us, their happiness, and for running the household; so much so, that we feel guilty taking time for ourselves.  But Jason is so wonderful, that he actually THANKED me for taking time for myself, and for doing what I need to do to take care of myself.  He is so  amazing that some days I almost can’t believe that I get to be with him.

So I went to bed late, after picking up 2 days of food and unpacking my backpack, and read myself to sleep.  I’m working on The Never Ending Story.  I started it last year in Virginia when we were on vacation, and never finished it.  I doubt I’ll finish it on just these 2 days and 3 nights, but we’ll see.

This morning I puttered around the cottage, drank my litre of water, and spent the whole day in bed, except for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood.  As for “work”, I collected photos on-line from free stock photos for upcoming newsletters and e-zines.  The afternoon was dedicated to catching up on old email and investigating Karen Knowler’s Raw Teacher Program in much greater detail.  I think I may have mentioned it in an earlier post, but just in case I didn’t. my local co-op wants me to start teaching raw food “how to” classes!  Well, I want to make sure that I get it done right!!!  I’ve taught classes before, on reading Tarot and Oracle cards, on hair & makeup (I used to be a cosmetologist) and on finding your psychic center.  So I have a bit of an idea on how to fill and teach a class.  But I want to really make this work for a living, so I will eventually be taking the course.

The evening was reading and watching Food Matters again.  Got all my notes organized and categorized for my e-books and started making lists of what needs to be done first, second, third, etc. to make the books a reality.

Then it was off to bed.  I almost ate nothing today, which I guess makes sense, considering I didn’t move much.  Jay brought me by some coconut oil in the early evening/late afternoon as he and Jahn were on their way to see Star Trek.  Even though I wore gloves yesterday for all that gardening, my hands still got dried out, and nothing works better for dry hands than fresh coconut oil.  In my opinion, it’s a WAY better lip balm and hand cream.  Oh!  They also brought me a little heart-shaped glass bowl of cherries and strawberries (first of the season!), the dears.

Today’s menu was water for the morning, a banana and a nectarine (also the first of the season) for brunch, chocolate ganache for lunch, and the berries & cherries the boys brought for dinner (plus more ganache).

I stayed up late, LOVED it, and don’t care what time I wake up tomorrow.  I’m sure it will be to the Sun coming in the skylight again, with the lovely birds chirping that wakes me.  Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh …. I’m gonna do this again SOON!

Day Twenty-Six: Happy Mother’s Day – Gardening and Honey Bees!!!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there (and people like me who are semi-moms but resist the label).

This morning, Jason and I slept in (how delicious was THAT?!?), then we headed over to our friend’s house, Dave and Laurie’s, to pick some fresh, baby Red Russian kale.  Or so I thought.  In exchange for helping Laurie to “weed” her flower patch, I got to take all those “weeds” home with me.  And said “weeds” were said KALE!  In addition, she uprooted a rhubarb plant, a lovage plant, TONS of young oregano starts, baby angelica starts, lemon balm, lemon mint, orange mint and a horseradish plant!  All payment for taking her excess kale out!  And it only took me 5 minutes to help her.  Plus, we just bought a Sungold cherry tomato plant yesterday, and a friend gave us what we thought were 2 strawberry plants.  Turns out they were FOUR!

So Jason and I had our work cut out for us.  I planted or transplanted everything except the tomato plant while he mowed and weed-whacked the yard with Dave’s mower and weed-whacker.  A sweet little boy in our neighborhood named Cody came over and showed Jahn how to uproot dandelion plants.  The kid has been watching his dad, who manages the park we live in, and I tell you what, I’ve never seen a kid so little (I think he’s 5 or 6) who is so handy with a shovel!  I kept telling Jahn to watch Cody dig, because he knew exactly how to do it.  Went all the way around the plant, clockwise, over and over and over again, until it came right out, root and all.  We are so lucky to have so dang many dandelion plants in our yard and the surrounding fields that we have more than we can possibly eat, even if we ate just those, so we placed the uprooted ones from our rock path around the apple tree, mixed in with the grass clippings.  Jay said that when he had orange trees in Florida, they always put grass clippings around the base of the trees, and it was the very best compost.  Said it made for the sweetest, juiciest oranges ever.  Had other Floridians wondering why their fruit was so perfect!  Well, fertilize well and you get a strong plant with delectable fruit that can protect itself from pests and the like.

We also found some surprise dog “treats” in the yard (as in, some neighbor dog made a deposit in the middle of the lawn), but Jay just threw them in with Cody’s dandelions and the grass clippings.  I planted everything we got from Laurie in little planter boxes except for the kale.  Then I planted the strawberries.  Most of these will probably get permanent homes in the actual earth, but we only moved in in February, so we haven’t decided exactly where to do our Lasagna Gardening, yet.

Last, I planted the baby kale in the cinder blocks that go along the edge of the right side of the house (the back lawn is along the left side) and Cody, the handier-with-a-spade-than-me little guy, went through and weeded all the little plots of dirt and turned over the soil for me first, and I didn’t even have to ask him to!  He had a little metal shovel that Dave and Laurie gave Jahn, but Jahn was more interested in reading Calvin and Hobbes while sunning himself on the deck, so I figured, “Well, each can do what they like.  At least they aren’t fighting over who gets to use the shovel!”  So all I had to do, literally, was turn a bit of fertilizer into the earth with a large spoon, transplant my little kale babies, then water them!  Got a whole nice row going, too.  Hopefully next year they will keep us in green smoothies all season long and we won’t have to buy many greens!  We fed Cody an apple, and he tried mango for the first time.  Liked it quite well.  I told him that since he worked so hard, when our apple tree starts bearing fruit, he can come over and get some apples.

Oh!  I almost forgot!  The very BEST news of the day!!!  There is a huge raspberry farm right outside our backyard (I’ll take pics soon — and they let us pick all we want for free!) and I think they have their own honey beehives, because yesterday I saw 4 bees visiting our little apple tree (which is LADEN with blossoms) and today, there were SIX!  All at once!!!  With all the issues these poor little guys have been having, and with all the work that Jay and I are planning on putting into growing our own food, I gotta tell you, I have literally NEVER been so happy to see bees in my entire life!  I almost started crying!!  Jahn and Cody got scared, but I showed them how the bees were so busy they didn’t care about us.  I walked up and put my hand literally an inch away from 2 of them, and when they didn’t sting me, the boys were convinced that bees might not be so bad after all, and were more willing to listen to the good aspects of bees.  Eventually, they were standing in front of the tree, watching the bees do their work and cheering them on, dancing and chanting in unison, “Poll-in-ATE!  Poll-in-ATE!”  Pretty freakin’ cute!

So after all that gardening fun, poor Cody was sad to see us go, but we had to.  We went to my brother-in-law’s house to discuss cookbook layout (just wait til you see them!  He is a PRO!) and mull over logo ideas.  Things are rolling along smashingly in the design department, so we didn’t have to chat long.  Then it was all of us (my Jason, me, Jahn, my sister Beccy, her Jason, and their son, Ben) off to my mom and dad’s house to celebrate Mother’s Day.

We went to my mom’s house today and we gave her 2 tulips from our flower patch (they had mostly finished blooming already), an apple-spice cake that I made (pretty much my happy accident cake from a few days ago with marinated, minced apples in it), and some iris bulbs (purple, her favorite).  She also got a DVD about Alaska from my brother and his wife (my mom grew up in Sitka), a white geranium plant from my sister, her hubby and son, oh!  And a little crescent moon shaped crystal to hang in her window, also from my brother and his wife.  Jahn made me a very sweet little watercolor painting at school and it was accompanied by a letter that said the he loved me and was grateful that I make him raw treats.  It was very, very sweet.  It made me cry, then Jay cried, then everybody was crying, and Jahn rolled his eyes, and said, “Oh, brother!”  Funny kid.

We all had dinner there, and we were served a veritable feast of fruit salad (oranges, red grapes, bananas, watermelon, mango and something else — I think another melon), green salad (with all kinds of great stuff in it — radishes, red peppers, cucumbers, iceberg and Romaine lettuces, some baby kale that I brought from Laurie’s garden, oregano (also from Laurie’s garden) shredded carrots, celery, raw walnuts … and I think there were a few more things, but I don’t remember what they were).  I brought our raw dressing, nutritional yeast and flaxmeal for us to top the salads with.  There was also roasted chicken and 2 kinds of potato salad, but we didn’t partake of those (I’m the only raw foodist on my side of the family).  It was a great meal, and Jay and I were very excited that we all were so full afterward.  That was our first time eating nothing but raw around other people in a very long time.  We finished off most of the apple-spice cake, and everyone agreed, it was very reminiscent of the filling in apple newtons — like fig newtons, but spicier and apple-ier.

We didn’t really have any breakfast, just our 2 litres of water in the morning.  Strange how satisfying it is when you’re hydrated.  Your artificial hunger alarms just don’t go off the way they do when you eat cooked.  So we weren’t even hungry until about 4 p.m.!  Ok, we sampled a few greens in Laurie’s garden, but that was just 3 or 4 little leaves, pea shoots and the like.  I can’t believe how little we eat now!  If you’d told me even a month ago that I’d be this happy raw, I’d probably have slapped you.  Ok, maybe not that.  But I would’ve definitely recommended counseling.  😉

I did have a bit of chocolate before we left, but just one bite of ganache – just so I could say I’ve been doing the raw cacao for 30 days with every meal.  But we’re down to one meal a day, and one or very occasionally 2 snacks (a handful of berries, a half a mango, a handful of sprouted nuts, etc.), so I’m having a hard time being hungry enough to eat any cacao at all.  There’s a surprising twist!  Not hungry enough to eat CHOCOLATE???  But there you have it.  I’d heard of other raw foodists experiencing this lack of hunger, and being able to work really hard for hours on end with no food, but until you experience it for yourself, it just doesn’t seem believable.  I think that’s because there are so many social, psychological and emotional things tied in with cooked food.

But that’s a subject for another day and another post.  I’m off to pack and go on my little silent mini vacation.  I’ll still post while I’m gone, though.  No talking needed for that.  Cheerio!

Day Twenty-Five: Prep for a Silent Journey

So for those of you who don’t know me personally, I am helping my boyfriend, Jason, raise his 7-year old boy, Jahn.  Jahn’s mom, Star, died suddenly and tragically in a car crash in August 2006, just a few weeks shy of Jahn’s 5th birthday.  So when Jason and I started a romantic relationship, I went from being a single woman in a very peaceful, quiet apartment to woman in a relationship, with a child around all the time, constant hubbub, tons of “why” and “how” questions, and all from a little kid I didn’t  know.  I tried to get to know Jason, much of the time having that time with him revolve around what Jahn needed.  So it’s been a bit complicated from time-to-time, as we’ve all tried to figure out where we all fit inside a new, different family dynamic.

That all has lead me to lose my patience once in awhile, and realize how important taking “me” time is.  Before I met Jason, if I wanted to go somewhere and do something, all I had to do was check my calendar and bank account, and I’d be off!  Well, it’s a little different now — to say the least!  But Jason has always made sure that there was time made for me to do what I needed, the dear heart, and assured that I  get time that is just for me.  SUCH a Love!  We both offer that to each other, to keep the level of insanity down to a dull roar.  Every year, at least once, I go away for a few days.  Last year instead of separate vacations, we took a family vacation to Richmond, VA to see Jason’s side of the family at Thanksgiving, and in 2007 I went to Cedar Springs for the better part of a week — my first attempt at going completely raw.  WONDERFUL place, by the way!!!  If you’re looking for a great way to get off on the right foot, it’s a great place to “dry out” and start your raw journey!!!  I was raw for the 5 days I was there, and then stayed raw for an additional 11 days after I left.  That’s also when I started writing my “Go Raw, Not Crazy” series of cookbooks.

So I give you that little bit of background so that you know where I’m coming from.  Once in awhile, I just gotta get away.  The house is firmly raw now, and I feel very confident that I won’t come home to fried chicken and chili with quesadillas for dinner.   Hmm, ok we’ve never had that combo before, but you catch my meaning.  But back to the relevant point.  I am VERY ready to take a mini-vacation, and a wonderful woman in town named Suzanne has an adorable little cottage for rent, and I only have to pay 4 Life Dollars a night for it!!!  Life Dollars are the alternative currency used at Fourth Corner Exchange, and I’m a member of that organization.  No TV, no phone, not even a kitchen to tempt me!  She often cooks for her guests, but I told her I’d just bring my own raw stuff.  So I’ll be going there late Sunday evening and write-write-writing til my little fingers can’t take it anymore.  I really need to get my free e-books ready for the site launch, and it’s just not happening with all the hubbub mentioned above.

So I’m REALLY excited!  I’ve got my work all laid out that I want to do, I only have to pay “Monopoly Money” to stay at the cabin, and I am just 20 miles from home if any emergency should come up (or if I forget something).  I’ve decided that I’m not going to talk during this time, either.  I’m not sure why that’s important to me, but I just have this feeling that I’m done doing it for awhile.  I’m just tired of answering questions, being “there” for people, I feel so drained.  So I’m going to use this time to do a little piece of my life’s work, and I’ll be able to regenerate and sleep all I want while my body heals from the 38 years of battering it took from my former cooked-food diet.

And speaking of diet, today’s menu looked like this:

BREAKFAST:
Chocolate Creme Pie (OMG DELICIOUS!  The creamiest chocolate pudding you’ve ever had inside of a finely-ground macadamia nut crust — people canNOT tell it’s not cooked!)

LUNCH:
Chocolate “Milk”, a very small green salad and a banana

DINNER:
Pepperawni Nuts with that delectable hot mustard I got the other day, and another piece of Chocolate Creme Pie

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, life is good.  Chocolate for every meal, and a mini vacation on the horizon.  Life is DEFINITELY good!

Day Twenty-Four: Nothing Happened Today

Have you ever had one of those days where nothing happened?  I mean, nothing noteworthy or of consequence.  Well, today was just such a day for me.  Can’t think of anything to write about, so we’ll just get straight to the menu.

Did some oil pulling to start off the day (was feeling groggy), then had my litre of water.  Ate some chocolate frosting for breakfast (GOURD, I love this “diet”!), had a frozen, chocolate-dipped strawberry and a Greek salad for lunch, and dinner was a bit more frosting and, well, mustard.  I think I’m finally catching up on whatever I need that’s in it.  Jason says it’s high in sulfur, and since have trouble with alliums, which are high in sulfur (fresh garlic makes my stomach hurt – gotta cook it or wait 24 hours to eat it after pressed, and onions don’t even get down my gullet – or they come right back up) it could be that.  Whatever the reason, I am finally feeling like I’m getting enough.  The jar is 5/6 gone!  Ok, off to bed, and perhaps I’ll have a more interesting day for you to read about tomorrow.

Day Twenty-Three: A Considerable Amount of Anger, Happy Accident Cake and MUSTAAAAAAARRRRD!

Wow did some serious crap come up today.  I was so freakin’ angry I just wanted to beat something to a pulp.  And I know exactly why I was so dang mad.  I was mad because of all the years that I was taught by teachers, by my family, by friends, by doctors, etc. to eat all that freakin’ CRAP!  I mean, I know that they all meant well, and they were doing the very best that they could with the information that was provided to them.  And I’m not mad at them as people.  I hold no grudge against them.  What I AM mad at is the big agribusinesses, pharmaceutical companies and lobbyists who got the lies into the heads of those who taught them this stuff in the first place.  I was fed garbage and lies, and in no small part by the advertisers of the world.  My mom thought she was doing us a favor by cooking with Crisco.  It was advertised as a healthy vegetable oil, better for the body than animal fat.  And before it was sprayed all to hell on the plant and then hydrogenated, maybe it could’ve been.  Did you know that hydrogenated oil (trans fat) actually BURNS the inside walls of your veins???  And the people who manufactured this stuff KNEW it was bad when they made it!  It was invented to fatten up cattle, but the cattle got sick and many died from it.  But they had this shelf-stable grease and didn’t want the invention to go to waste.  So instead of saying, “Gee this looks like a poison”, they thrust it on US!!!

Beef, it’s what’s for dinner.  Pork, the other white meat.  Milk, it does a body good.  The incredible edible egg.  Why did I never see a commercial stating that “An apple a day keeps the doctor away” or “You are what you eat”.  Why didn’t I get told that cooking foods kills all the enzymes and half the protein in them?  Why?  I’ll tell you why.  Because everyone in a position of power or teaching was telling me what they were told, and they were just trying to help me be healthy.  And THEY were never told!  How could they have possibly taught me what they’d never been exposed to?  What reason did they have to think they were being lied to and played?  What a sick twist to my story, and so many countless millions of other people.  Why isn’t the slogan, “Milk, it does a body good … if you’re a calf!”?  Or how about “Pork — Just what it sounds like.”  Maybe The Incredibly Indigestible Egg?  Just some ideas.

At Jahn’s school they have several posters of young celebrities with milk mustaches advertising dairy, and it just makes me wanna scream, “Yeah, you see those thick, pasty looking mustaches?  That glue is inside you kids!!!  Stop drinking all that pus, blood and antibiotics!!!”  I wish that the school nutritionist knew how bad this garbage is.  I mean actual GARBAGE!  I’ve read the ingredients for what they serve.  I wish that whoever is in charge of nutrition at the state and federal levels had a freakin’ CLUE what they were talking about!!!  Why are raw vegans treated like lepers and crazy people when we are the absolute cleanest (internally), most energetic people on the planet?  But we’ve got it wrong and are somehow badly mistaken, just because most people don’t know squat about detox and what happens to you when you withdraw from cooked food.

It reminds me of the line Liev Schriber had in Kate & Leopold when he said that dogs are color blind, and when he referred to the fact that he found a crack in the fabric in time that was supposed to be impossible to find (after being admitted to a mental hospital against his will, mind you).  He said,  “I’m just a dog who saw a rainbow”.  He saw something no one else could see, and the other “dogs” thought he was crazy ONLY because they couldn’t see it.  Their eyes were incapable.

That’s how I feel sometimes with raw food.  We’re all getting so much healthier, Jahn’s behavior, ability to handle change, sleep patterns, ability to have patience and get along with other children and attitude have all improved exponentially, Jason and I are losing weight like crazy and feel SO much better!!!  But we’re “weird” and don’t eat a “normal” diet.  I swear, the next person who talks about eating “normally” is going to get an earful from me.  Normal is not the same as standard.  Maybe it is STANDARD that people eat all the crap that is out there, but it is FAR from NORMAL!!!  If it was normal, we would not see so many health abnormalities in this country or the world.  Ugh.

Ok.  I’ve had my rant.  Now on to what I had to eat today.  First, it was 2 litres of water,  then a bit of chocolate ganache around 11 a.m.  Lunch was my usual salad with nutritional yeast, olives and raw, homemade vinaigrette.  A bit more ganache for dessert.  Dinner was the last peppermint patty (made a nice few patties filled with chocolate-mint creme) and an avocado.  I also, quite by accident, invented a spice cake today that has the taste of gingerbread, fruitcake and just a general feeling of Christmas about it.  I was going to make my standard chocolate cake, but made a mistake and made pecan butter instead of minced pecans in the Vitamix.  I’ve never done this before, while making cake, but out of curiosity, I stopped and tasted the dates and pecan butter mixed, and for some reason, that reminded me of fruitcake.  Brain fart in the best way!  I added pumpkin spice to it, and I tell you, if you added some grated apples to it (like a granny smith apple), you’d have yourself apple cake!  Mmmmmmmmmm ….

So back to the menu.  I had a few nuts with TONS of mustard on them!  I found a mustard at my Community Food Co-Op today made from raw apple cider vinegar, brown stoneground mustard seed, water and sea salt.  It’s made by Eden, and even though it doesn’t specify that it’s 100% raw, I’m guessing that the water and salt aren’t cooked, 😉 and it’s all organic.  I have missed mustard SO much, and to find it so close to raw and totally organic, I was willing to take the chance.  You see, I love mustard.  I love it as in, I’ll-eat-it-by-the-squirt-or-spoonful-straight-out-of-the-container love it, with nothing else to accompany it.  I LOVE mustard!!!  Hmmm … 30 Days of Mustard?  😉  Maybe not.  But anyway, I had sprouted nuts in mustard, and more mustard just by itself for good measure.  Then later in the evening, because I had missed it so much, I had some … well … some more mustard.  Ate half the jar in one evening!  (Although Jason did have a little on nuts, too.)  And it’s a 9 oz. jar!  I’m eating some right now as I write this.  Don’t know what’s in it that I need so much, but I’ve loved loved loved the stuff since early childhood.  This particular mustard is a smashing variety, too!  I can’t recommend it highly enough.  Just a wee bit spicy and a little sweet and tangy.  Ahhhhhhhhh, the magic that is mustard.  Sighhhhhhhh.  Say!  That could be a mustard slogan!  Ha!  There’s a good one for the next commercial.  😉  Ha, ha, ha!  Well look at me cheering right up.

So enough about all this anger and mustard.  I feel much better now.  Always good to vent.  I will try to have a more positive sounding post tomorrow.  Maybe the REAL reason that I was so angry was because I was mustard deficient.